Thoughts About Fear

So lately I have been feeling some fear-based thoughts about the upcoming challenge. Some really old limiting beliefs and worrying thoughts. To put it simply; I feel like there's a ton of things that needs to be in order before I start the project (and even during the four months) and I fear being dissapointed with myself for not being able to complete the challenge.

I thought that the best way to handle this would be to face my fears and the ego-voice in my head, and write them down to get clarification and control over the situation.

Here Are My Fears — According To My Stupid Ego Inner Voice:

#1 - MONEY: Almost every worrying thought I have about something, almost always comes down to MONEY. Fuck! I hate being a slave to capitalism and money, constantly having this small voice in the back of my head saying that I could never afford this or that. But even though I hate being like this, sometimes I fall back into old ways, and I get all insecure and worrying about it. This time its about the cost of the challenge. My ego keeps bitching about "How can I afford going through it?" and "this seems too hard, just drop it!". Can't help to believe that the little voice might be into something.. All the food that I need to consume is going to be immense and the costs will follow, and then there is costs for the training center etc.. I am worryed that I'll fucking bankrupt myself during this challenge, and that I'll be back in dept-world and having to worry about money in a lot of other ways.

#2 - TIME: I mean, I have a job with unregular shifts (some in the evening and some early) plus other time-consuming activities (strangely I can't remember any activities that I currently have that are very time-consuming! Stupid ego-voice!!) so how will I ever be able to even find the time to actually DO this challenge?? I need time for the studying of the program so I understand WHY I'm doing what I'm doing. I need time for the actual workouts. And the hardest of them all, I need time to EAT and prepare food. 

And not surprisingly - the biggest one is:

#3 - FOOD: This is most definitivly my biggest hold-back-point right now. Just the thoughts about paying for all that food, preparing all that food, storing all that food and then eating all that food makes me want to back down. Thoughts like "what about when I go on vacation, how will I be able to eat as much every day?" and other similar thoughts keep coming up.

While writing this post, I actually came up with some answers (or solutions) that IMMEDIATELY turned off the worrying and limiting thought process connected to these three "fears".

Here Are My Solutions — According To My Smart Concious Inner Voice:

#1 - MONEY: Well, I only have so much money - and thats OK! I just stretch my limits as far as I am comfortable to go while still having enough money to save some. Just do the best with what I have! Sure, the results might be a lot better if I had a more stable financial situation* (* read: filthy ritch), but the results I will get will be a lot better than doing nothing at all!

#2 - TIME: When I was writing about the money aspect of the challenge, I tried as hard as I could to come up with some time consuming activities that I currently possess. I found none. STOP BEING LAZY! Thats the only thing I can say. Just fucking do it. When it comes to preparing food and going to the gym these are just routines that will become easier over time. Of course it will be hard, and I guess especially in the beginning, but who said it was going to be easy?

#3 - FOOD: There are currently millions and millions of people starving in this world, and my biggest concern at the moment is about how I can eat as much as possible. That made me a little sick actually. I realize that I need to focus at the tast at hand and whats important to me. This challenge is for ME. I CHOOSE to take it. I WILL take it. But I will take it in my own pace and tempo. I will not jump from 2-3 meals a day to 6-8 just like that. I cant see how that would be healthy. I need to start somewhere (over the rainbow) and keep going from there. Start eating more than I did before is a good place to start. This is a challenge - NOT a competition!

Life Is A Work In Progress - Take It Step By Step.

This is exactly what I will do. Step by step, and try not to overdo anything. The goal is to successfully complete the whole four months without giving up, and I have to give my self a fighting chance by not making it too hard on my self! 

Now I REALLY need to go get something to eat! So hungry!!

Until next time!

Bjørnar